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Tiger “Hot Putter” Woods
has checked out of the sex
addiction clinic in Mississippi
and is headed home to
Orlando Florida with his
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wife Elin Nordegren.
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What will happen next
with the gamey golfer
is hard to predict,
unless you consult
with Rash Manly,
a man so pretentious
he writes about himself
in the third person.
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22MOON conducted a
mini-interview with
Mr. Manly to find out
Tigers next few moves.
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22MOON:
Rash, what do you foresee as
Tiger’s next move?
RASH:
“Tiger will buy his wife
a large diamond ring,
at least a million dollar stone.
Woods will swear to his wife,
‘Never again baby’,
‘My Dad was a cheat,
he made me do it’,
‘The pressure of being rich
and famous got to me’,
and various phrases like that.
Tiger will buy her a new car
of some expensive type,
promise a second honeymoon,
and say I love you about
a 1000 times in person,
not in text messages like
he did with Rachel Uchitel.”
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________RACHEL UCHITEL
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22MOON:
How will he deal with the media?
RASH:
“That is an easy one.
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Tiger’s first or second move
will be the interview with Oprah
on her show.
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The tears,
the swearing to Oprah that
he really loves his wife and kids
and he was just a mixed up kid.
The speech about the pressures
of being a half billionaire
and the stress of fame.
The stress of travel.
The stress that lying all the
time put on his troubled soul.
Tiger’s other first or second
stop will be the View interview.
Whoopie Goldberg will interview
Tiger one on one on a darkened
set with a box of tissues on a table
between two chairs.
Tiger will give the same
sob story he gives Oprah.
Tiger will dab at his eyes with
tissues and Whoopie will get up
from her chair and give
Tiger a hug.
The audience will
applaud and cheer.
It will be a real tear jerker,
an hour with Tiger.
Sappy music,
a look back at Tiger’s troubled
childhood of being famous
at a young age.
The pressures of fame.
The usual media
manipulation in other words.”
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22MOON:
Are you saying it is all an act
for Tiger to get back his million
dollar endorsement contracts
and butt kissing media coverage?
RASH:
“Not all of it is fake,
just a large portion.
Tiger does love his wife and kids.
But Tiger also has a
love affair with Tiger.
Tiger loves money also.
Money to Tiger is just another
way of keeping score,
and Tiger strives to be
the best at everything
he does.
The most money,
the best wife.
The most girlfriends,
the best golfer.”
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22MOON:
You think it is all
a game with him?
RASH:
“Not a game,
Tiger takes being the
best very seriously.
But he also has an internal need to
be more clever than everyone else,
it is another way of keeping score,
of being the best.
Tiger will appear to ‘settle down’,
to be the ‘perfect role model’.
On some level it will be sincere.
But his need to be worshiped
and loved by all will also express
itself before long with him seeing
other women,
he will just be more
careful in the future.
His handlers will help
the coverups just as they
did last time.
But the National Enquirer
will be watching.”
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22MOON:
You seem so sure.
How do you know all this?
RASH:
“I’m a recovering alcoholic who
used to lie to cover up my addiction.
I know how to lie,
how to manipulate people’s feelings,
how to tell people what they
need to hear.
Addiction is addiction,
liars are liars,
it takes one to know one.”
22MOON:
Well,
thank you for this
exclusive interview.
You have some amazing insights
and it will be interesting to see
the first interviews Tiger does
with the media.
any last thoughts?
RASH:
“Three things –
The View with Whoopie Goldberg,
the Oprah Interview,
the Box of Tissues.”
22MOON:
Thanks Rash!
RASH:
“You are more
than welcome Rash.”
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_Tiger (Hot Putter) Woods links!
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